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10-01-2008, 10:48 PM
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#1
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aka 'Paul WS Anderson' ;)
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Posts: 7,751
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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What i've become...
Some of you guys know what i've been thru. The anger has helped me become what I am. Fuck anyone who stands in my or puts me down. I got no use for those who hack on me and whatnot. Am I angry? NOt really but as Capt. Kirk said, "I NEED MY ANGER!" and that is where i stand. I'm tired of grlz who can't give back. I'm tired of people who take and never give. I'm tired of a lot of crap but I know I'm getting ahead. I will make it.
Anyway... Yeah I got anger. I have hatred. But I need that to see what i am. and what i am. i am what i am. people can deal with it or not. for those who can't, they have no empathy and love. And that's the bottom line!
One nation, one nation of Gods
divided by faith, Nation divided by faith
Witness deliberate war of attrition
Witness deliberate war of attrition
Judge me not, judge lest you be judged
Eyes are blind, blinded by violation
I hate your contention
I hate your violation
I hate your corruption
I hate your life destruction
I hate your contention
I hate your violation
I hate your corruption
I hate your life destruction
I am your enemy...
Witness deliberate war of attrition
Kill my mind, my mind is the weapon
Words are banned, words meant to enlighten
I hate your contention
I hate your violation
I hate your corruption
I hate your life destruction
I hate your contention
I hate your violation
I hate your corruption
I hate your life destruction
I am your enemy...
I will resist endlessly...
Endlessly...
Endlessly...
Endlessly...
Last edited by Sonneilon : 10-02-2008 at 10:44 AM.
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10-02-2008, 07:10 AM
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#2
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Veteran
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Posts: 942
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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you know the way your talking, reminds me of this song,
I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel
underneath
innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one
Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your health, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
and I'm going to extremes
tomorrow I will change
and today won't mean a thing
Chorus
Just when you think you've got me figured out
the season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
and don't try to save me
Chorus
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
when you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived
can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way
i met a lot of people like that, even had a couple of girlfriend that were like that, but no kids,
__________________
my feedback
http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...tml#post389089
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10-02-2008, 08:27 AM
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#3
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G.I. Smurf
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i feel you man. im not where you are now, havent been for about 4 years, but the darkness and anger pulled me down a years ago. i didnt really care for anyone or anything, no cloud have a silver lining, there was no hope or bright light at the end of the tunnel. well, you may not be there yet, lets hope you dont get there. but things started to change. took control of my body, got in shape(the fighting really helped me out a lot with anger and fitness) met a nice girl and to top it all off, they brought G.I. Joe back. i still have my bad moments, but thats when i really turn to joedios, you guys and the other joe related stuff on the net. if your strong enough(and i believe you are) you'll fight through this and come back stronger.
a side note about writing songs and lyrics, i have tons, i mean tons of songs and poems i wrote back then. now however, i cant seem to write anything because for the most part im happy. it sucks that i need to feel bad to write good.
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10-02-2008, 09:12 AM
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#4
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ARAH for O-ringers
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"I believe…whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you…stranger."
Life was so simply when I was kid...
__________________
HEROES DON'T DIE, THEY JUST RELOAD
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10-02-2008, 09:47 AM
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#5
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Troops of Doom
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There's a scene from the movie Red Dawn where Robert is carving another kill into the stock of his rifle.
Colonel: "All that hate's gonna burn you up kid."
Robert smiles: "It keeps me warm."
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10-02-2008, 10:07 AM
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#6
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Veteran
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Stray away from the darkside yo!!
Been there done that. Got married at 20 before going to flight school. She was 17..I think of that song form not long ago..shes only seventeen... Shoulda left her ass home while I went to school. She left me for a flight instuctors friend that was a co captain for an airline. Boy did that guy end up getting a handful. He got her knocked up and he made her abort his child. Oh effing well. I gave her everything. I at least got to solo and get a few flight s in before I quit and enlisted into the Air National Guard in Oklahoma. They didnt have the job I wanted, (Crew Chief) so I transferred back to Cali. Got the job I wanted in Fresno. 144thFw. Check em out. They have a great tail marking!! ..I turned into a HUGE manwhore. Had lots of sex and alcohol. Luckily I didnt get crotch rot from anyone(STDs). I didnt want to commit to ANYONE. Luckily several years later (and psychos) I met my current love. I was very fortunate to not have any children thru all of this. You just have to remember to focus on your kids. Make sure they follow your good teachings and dont follow mamas bad habits. They need stability, you are that foundation. Remember, we were young once. Kids arent dumb. They will know when you are unhappy and things are bad. Try not to let them see this. You are better than her. Let her go, I know its hard but you must. Just share the love of collect, sk8ing and music with the kids.!!
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10-02-2008, 10:47 AM
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#7
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aka 'Paul WS Anderson' ;)
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Oops. I think this was supposed to be posted on myspace. I can't remember. Some of you guys that I talk to on msn... You know about this gal named Kristine I've been talking with. Monday, I walked away from her because... You'll love this...
She's getting back with her ex-husband. They are divorced and she wants to make things right. THIS is a guy that beats her, controls her (he wont' let her have a job or a car for starters), and has broken her arm in the past. Kristine is Rick's 4th wife and about 20 yrs older. She even went so far as to JUSTIFYING the abuse!
That's what that post is about. The stupidity of people that I let enter my life. But after the messes at Daiso and then some, I learned a lot about myself. Learned a lot after the divorce. I don't regret the divorce because I wouldn't be where Im' at now if I hadn't. It was a learning experience. I just hope I'm not making NEW mistakes! (c'mon, laugh with me on that one! hee hee)
I deleted the whole Emi thing. That was uncalled for and I'm not sure where I was going with that. OTHER than we aren't talking and while I'm being civil to her, it's not returned. A few people know what's up and anyway... I guess I was more irritated by Kristine's thoughts and actions.
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10-02-2008, 12:02 PM
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#8
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Zero Award Nominations
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reminded me of this song:
She was confused and abused in this life
Emotional and violent moments
Seemed to take the longest time
Every single knockout, dragout
Firght they ever had
Apologies and dignity denied to lie with
SUddenly psychotic eyes
Every night she cried herself to sleep
She didn't recognize
Her own face in the mirror
Black and blue, so afraid
Intimidation
Like a child she hides away
He would always try to justify what wasn't true
Justified black eye
Taken for granted, she sleeps by
The phone waiting for a call
>From him, but it seems he's never coming home
14 beers later he is there without an answer
Once again she questions his
Lies, he goes to bed with
No reply
Tomorrow morning, different story
And he'll be a differenty guy
He'll justify her black eye
With another lie
She packs her bags in great temptation
He's on his knees, again he cries
A hug and a kiss and a don't know why
As a tear drops from her swollen eye
Apologies until tonight and another
Justified black eye
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10-02-2008, 12:03 PM
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#9
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Zero Award Nominations
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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I'm sorry to hear thinks are so dark for you man hope you can use some of the anger in a positive way.
__________________
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10-02-2008, 01:51 PM
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#10
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Veteran
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Posts: 6,048
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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You should call whatever woman shelter thats close to her and aske them to contact her then wash your hands off her, if evil guys are what turns her on then let her have one.
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