A father asks his eight-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"

Confused, the father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. Now that I'm eight, you hit me with the 'There's no tooth fairy' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups really don't get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."