A business man was sitting in a bar in a rough part of town, talking to his hand. The Bartender came up and told him "Buddy, this is a rough joint, you don't wanna be actin weird here, one of these fellas will mess you up!"

The Man replied "Oh, I'm not crazy. I just got tired of losing or misplacing my cell phone so I had a plastic surgeon implant mine in my hand...see?"

Sure enough, the man had a cell phone implanted in his hand. The Bar tender amazed stated; "Wow, that's somethin else, but guys here won't understand, so keep it to yourself,ok? I don't wanna see something bad happen to a nice guy like you."

The businessman thanked him and asked for a scotch and directions to the bathroom. The Gentleman headed to the toilet as the bartender got his drink, brought it back and set it at his table. Half hour later, the bartender noticed the mans jacket still at the table and the drink untouched. Fearing the man had been accosted by the patrons in the bathroom, the bartender ran to the bathroom only to find the businessman spread eagle against the wall, his pants and underwear around his ankles and a full of toilet paper wedged horizontally between his butt cheeks.

"See buddy, I tried to warn you if you acted weird here someone would mess you up. " The bartender said


The Man Replied; "Oh, no, it's nothing like that....I'm just waiting on a FAX......"