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A poor-to-do crop farmer received a letter from his well-to-do brother one day. His brother advised him in the letter that pork bellies were selling well on the stock market, and hinted that his brother would make a better living raising and selling pigs than corn. The farmer decided that his brother knew best, so he sold his crop farming equipment and built a pen and purchased 15 female pigs and 3 male pigs, figuring that the male pigs would spread their seed abundantly among the females.

After a few days of purchasing the pigs, the farmer realized that he knew absolutely nothing about raising pigs. The farmer then drove into town that afternoon after lunch and paid the local veterinarian a visit. He asked the vet the best method possible to impregnate pigs, and the vet replied that artificial insemination was the best way to go. The vet also told the farmer he would know when the females were pregnant because the following morning the impregnated pigs would bay lying down instead of standing up.

This news excited the farmer very much, and he hurried home to tell his wife the fantastic news. On the drive home, he realized that he did not fully know what it meant to artificially inseminate a pig, so he deduced rather than turn around and ask the vet and look like a moron, or wait up to 2 weeks to hear a reply from his brother via letter, that to artificially inseminate each pig must mean to manually insert his own seed within each pig.

The next morning, instead of the normal feedings, he herded and loaded each of the female pigs into the back of his pick-up truck and drove to a secluded area where he would not be discovered. Upon arriving, he unloaded each pig and began to talk softly to them while he had his way with each individual pig. After a couple of hours, he loaded the pigs back into the truck and drove slowly home, as he was quite tired.

Upon arriving home, the farmer released the pigs from the truck and placed them back into their pen. He slowly made his way into the house and took a hot shower and then ate dinner that his wife had prepared. He then told her thank you for the delicious meal and goodnight, and went straight to bed, as he was completely exhausted.

The next morning, he walked over to the window to see how many pigs were lying down, and to his chagrin he counted zero. All 15 females were standing quite alert. He decided then that he needed to work twice as hard to impregnate the pigs. So after breakfast and a few of his daily chores he loaded the pigs into the truck, drove them back to the secluded spot, and did twice the work on each pig as he did the day before. He then once again drove them home, released them into their pen, and staggered into the house, skipping the shower but eating dinner before heading to bed.

The next morning, he hobbled over to the window to count the number of pigs that were lying down. Once again, not a single pig was lying down. He became quite frustrated and decided to do triple the job today, skipping breakfast and all chores, he loaded all the pigs into the truck first thing and drove to the secluded spot once again, giving each pig 3 walkovers each. By the third round, he could barely move, it was all he could do to keep going, but the thought of the huge payday he was going to make when people paid for his pigs kept driving him onward. He finished the job, loaded the pigs, and wearily made the trek home in his truck.

Upon arriving home, he released the pigs into their pen, stumbled into the house, skipped both dinner and his shower, and collapsed in exhaustion on his bed. The next morning, he couldn’t move, so he asked his wife to please go to the window and count the number of pigs that were lying down. She made her way over to the window facing the pen and looked, and then she came back and said, “There aren’t any pigs lying down at all. All 15 of them are in the pick-up truck and one of them is up front honking the horn!”

05-17-2007, 05:50 AM	#7
Fisher Veteran Offline --> Posts: 217 --> Join Date: Aug 2006	A poor-to-do crop farmer received a letter from his well-to-do brother one day. His brother advised him in the letter that pork bellies were selling well on the stock market, and hinted that his brother would make a better living raising and selling pigs than corn. The farmer decided that his brother knew best, so he sold his crop farming equipment and built a pen and purchased 15 female pigs and 3 male pigs, figuring that the male pigs would spread their seed abundantly among the females. After a few days of purchasing the pigs, the farmer realized that he knew absolutely nothing about raising pigs. The farmer then drove into town that afternoon after lunch and paid the local veterinarian a visit. He asked the vet the best method possible to impregnate pigs, and the vet replied that artificial insemination was the best way to go. The vet also told the farmer he would know when the females were pregnant because the following morning the impregnated pigs would bay lying down instead of standing up. This news excited the farmer very much, and he hurried home to tell his wife the fantastic news. On the drive home, he realized that he did not fully know what it meant to artificially inseminate a pig, so he deduced rather than turn around and ask the vet and look like a moron, or wait up to 2 weeks to hear a reply from his brother via letter, that to artificially inseminate each pig must mean to manually insert his own seed within each pig. The next morning, instead of the normal feedings, he herded and loaded each of the female pigs into the back of his pick-up truck and drove to a secluded area where he would not be discovered. Upon arriving, he unloaded each pig and began to talk softly to them while he had his way with each individual pig. After a couple of hours, he loaded the pigs back into the truck and drove slowly home, as he was quite tired. Upon arriving home, the farmer released the pigs from the truck and placed them back into their pen. He slowly made his way into the house and took a hot shower and then ate dinner that his wife had prepared. He then told her thank you for the delicious meal and goodnight, and went straight to bed, as he was completely exhausted. The next morning, he walked over to the window to see how many pigs were lying down, and to his chagrin he counted zero. All 15 females were standing quite alert. He decided then that he needed to work twice as hard to impregnate the pigs. So after breakfast and a few of his daily chores he loaded the pigs into the truck, drove them back to the secluded spot, and did twice the work on each pig as he did the day before. He then once again drove them home, released them into their pen, and staggered into the house, skipping the shower but eating dinner before heading to bed. The next morning, he hobbled over to the window to count the number of pigs that were lying down. Once again, not a single pig was lying down. He became quite frustrated and decided to do triple the job today, skipping breakfast and all chores, he loaded all the pigs into the truck first thing and drove to the secluded spot once again, giving each pig 3 walkovers each. By the third round, he could barely move, it was all he could do to keep going, but the thought of the huge payday he was going to make when people paid for his pigs kept driving him onward. He finished the job, loaded the pigs, and wearily made the trek home in his truck. Upon arriving home, he released the pigs into their pen, stumbled into the house, skipped both dinner and his shower, and collapsed in exhaustion on his bed. The next morning, he couldn’t move, so he asked his wife to please go to the window and count the number of pigs that were lying down. She made her way over to the window facing the pen and looked, and then she came back and said, “There aren’t any pigs lying down at all. All 15 of them are in the pick-up truck and one of them is up front honking the horn!” __________________ I Am Pilot Error... I Am Fetal Distress... I Am The Random Chromosome... I Am Complete And Total Madness... I Am Fear!