Originally Posted by ender098 If you go in expecting this movie to be 100% faithful to our mythos,

**************WARNING*********
*****************Spoiler Alert*************************
THE FOLLOWING IS A SPOILER FOR GI JOE:THE RISE OF COBRA!!!
IF YOU WANT TO BE SURPRISED, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!!
SPOILER CLIFF NOTES AT THE BOTTOM!!!


The movie starts with James McCullen’s ancestor being imprisoned in a HOT Iron mask for dealing weapons to the French AND English. Cut to Present (well, the “NEAR FUTURE”) James McCullen is showing a Demo tape of MARS new Nano warheads. General Hawk and Covergirl are in the back of the room.

NATO sends Duke and Ripcord and their team to pick up the Warheads from Destro’s Kirgizstan factory and deliver them (Although it never does say where they are delivering them to!). On the way they are ambushed by Baroness and Neo Vipers in a flying gunship. Everyone but Duke and Ripcord are killed, and just in the nick of time, a silver ship (like a jet powered Osprey) swoops in and drops Snake eyes who starts killing Neo Vipers like it’s Cool! Then Scarlett deploys and Heavy Duty lays down cover fire from the side of the ship (as seen in the trailers!) Duke an the Baroness recognize each other, and to make a long story short, GI Joe wins, Baroness gets away.

Duke talks to a hologram of General Hawk while Breaker deactivates the tracking devices in the Warhead case. Hawk and Duke argue over the warheads.(Because Duke still doesn’t quite know who these guys are) Hawk says “Fine come with my guys and we’ll deliver the warheads together”. They fly to the PIT in Egypt (?!) . Destro is online with Hawk via hologram (they still don’t know he’s the bad guy) and wants to inspect the warheads. He gives Breaker the code to Open the case (Also restarting the tracking device!). they check the Warheads…all is well. Hawk tells Duke about GI Joe. International team….elite of the Elite…blah…blah…. Of course Duke and Ripcord want in… Duke tells Hawk he knows he is going after the Baroness and he wants in…because he knows her! Cut to years before…baroness was named hanna and was a Blond engaged to Duke. Her Brother and Duke went on a mission..her brother died, Duke couldn’t face her, so he split! (Another good Movie ruined by romance!)

Back at his base, destro is ticked at Baroness and tells her and Stormshadow they have another chance. This weird Dr. Rex shows off the new Neo Vipers. Injected with nanites, they feel no pain, experience no fear and are hard to kill. (one takes a bite from a cobra and the nanites push the venom out of the wounds). Destro sends them to Baroness and StormShadow! There are 19 of them….#20 is in place in Washington (see later!)


Hawk and team start training Duke and RipCord. They score high (blah..blah!) Oh, did I mention that Duke is a Captain (who wears Major insignia in the flashback with Baroness!?!) and RipCord is an enlisted man who can fly any type of aircraft? Duke spars with snake eyes, and Brandon Frasier referees! :O

Cobra tunnels into the PIT with Bora machines. Zartan stabs CoverGirl and StormShadow almost kills Hawk. They and Baroness use his hand and eye to open his safe and grab the warheads. (Stupidly, they don’t KILL Hawk, and he hits an Alarm). All hell breaks loose. StormShadow goes on a killing spree…..as does Baroness and the Neo vipers. Heavy Duty blows up their Bora machines so they are cut off. Big battle. Snake eyes and storm shadow have a brief flashback before they engage. Stormshadow manages to grab a glider and get away with Baroness and the Case of 4 warheads. Zartan escapes by acting like a Bedouin camel herder (you have to see it!).

Hawk is in the infirmary, Covergirl is DEAD! :O They find out Baroness is married to a French Baron (DeCobray) who works on a Particle accelerator (and who can program the nanites) They race to Paris. StormShadow and Baroness have her hubby program the nanites, then Stormy kills him. They exit as the Joes are showing up. Duke and Ripcord have the Delta 6 accelerator suits on. Snake eyes jumps on top of the APV the baroness and Stormy are in….Duke and Ripcord persue. Scarlett grabs a motorcycle and Heavy Duty and Breaker follow in a Van. Paris gets torn to hell (you see most of it in the trailers). Baroness and Stormy get to a place where they can attack the Eiffel tower and fire the warhead. Baroness has the killswitch for the nanites (they keep eating until they are turned off!) Duke jumps into a Gunship and manages to hit the switch on Baroness’s side killing the nanites before they destroy Paris.

Heavy Duty, Breaker, Scarlett and Ripcord go to the dead Neo Viper and try to extract info from his brain, but Dr. Rex activates the Nanite and he turns to dust. The Joes are arrested by the French. Hawk shows up and tells them they are disbanded and all troops are going back to their respective countries! On the way to the airport, Breaker looks at images from the Dead Neo Vipers thoughts, and determines Destro is in the North Pole. Hawk says “You were ordered back to the PIT…I didn’t say when you had to be there or what route you had to take”. Smiles…you KNOW they are going after Duke and the warhead!


Dr. Rex injects Zartan with nanites so he can change his eye and skin color and reshape his face. (we find out why later! Oh, and he is always whistling or humming “the Bear went over the mountain”…weird, huh?) Destro we find out has ICBM’s that he is going to arm with Nanites and launch at Major cities.

Duke is brought to the North Pole. He grabs the warhead case and tries to get away. Stormy brings him down easily and asks how he intended to get away across the ice. Cut to the GI Joe Submarine. Breaker says the signal on the case has just been activated (good one Duke…and you thought he was trying to get away!!) Under the Polar Ice Cap is that Huge underwater base seen in the trailer. Duke is taken to Dr. Rex to be injected with Nanites. Now comes the revolution! Dr. Rex is Baroness’s brother! He was a scientist sent to Africa with Duke. Duke sent him in a building to look at something and told him he had 5 min, an Airstrike would hit then. The Planes were early and blow the building up. (we saw this earlier when Duke flashed back in his recalling Baroness and his relationship) but now we see it from Rex’s POV. He found info about MARS Nanotech experiments. The building was a BUNKER! And the scientist in it was Dr Mindbender! Played by none other than Kevin J. O’Conner! The bunker saved him, but scarred him and he made the nanites! He used them on Baroness to make her evil and never told her he was her brother!

The Joes attack. Destro Launches they warheads. Snake eyes uses missiles on one of the rockslides to blow one missile out before it gets very high. Ripcord jumps in a Night Raven and goes after the other two. Baroness overcomes the Nanites and saves Duke before he is injected with nanites, but she is knocked unconscious! Rex, Duke and Destro have a show down while the base is being attacked! Destro doesn’t want Rex to kill Baroness, which he is threatening to do if Duke doesn’t give up. In the scuffle, Destro’s face is burned and he and Rex escape into a waiting Sub. Baroness and Duke escape and persue. Scarlett and Breaker get to the command center and track the missiles, guiding RipCord to them. The first is heading to Moscow.


Heavy Duty and about 50 “Shark” subs attack the base…..they are met by 50 Sting raider subs….GREAT BATTLE! A huge cannon almost destroys the big “carrier” sub of GI Joe and Snake eyes leaves Scarlett and Breaker in the control room to guide Ripcord as he goes to destroy the cannons power source (think Ben Kenobi in Star Wars!). He kills the operators and he and Stormy begin to scrap. Heavy Duty torpedos the cannon as Snake eyes runs Stormy through! Stormy falls into the frozen water at the bottom of the cannon’s reactor tube!

Meanwhile, the Pres of the US is taken to his bunker (made by MARS! Once there, one of the secret service is revealed to be NeoViper #20! He kills everone except the president. Someone steps out from behind a secret compartment and the president gasps. A voice says “Hello Mr. President”.

Ripcord kills the Missile headed for Moscow and goes after the one aimed at Washington. He catches up with it and tries to kill it. At the last second, he blows it, but a cloud of nanites covers his night raven and he takes it into the stratosphere to kill them. He parachutes just in time!

Rex orders the base destroyed, and charges in the ICE pack above detonate. Everyone scrambles to escape! Rex injects Destro with nanites. They eat at his burned face and then form a metal covering. (now he looks like the Destro WE know!) Duke Captures their sub with the help of Heavy Duty, the Sharks and the BIG sub!

The bad guys are in a prison, Baroness is in prison, too. The Doctors say it will be hard for them to remove the nanites. Duke tells her he won’t give up on her (mushy crap ending to that line). The Joes welcome Duke and Ripcord. Scarlett who has been avoiding Ripcord’s advances says something interesting (I forget what) and end…..

So we think….

A crowd of people pat the President on the back and cheer him as he claims victory. Once he is alone in his office, he kicks his feet up and starts humming “The bear went over the mountain”.

Fini!



Killer spoilers;


1. They killed covergirl! WTF?
2. Baroness and CC are Brother and sister?
3. Rex is CC, the Baroness’s brother?
4. Duke was engaged to Baroness?
5. will Ripcord ever shut up?
6. The scientist in the bunker with CC/Rex is mindbender? We gonna see him?
7. What about that 3 pack of Mars Troopers? Where were they in the movie?
8. Where were the Ice Vipers?
9. Where did Helix come from? She wasn’t in the movie!

Originally Posted by Jay Quick question: I heard from someone that the ending to ROC had been re-filmed, and IDW's comic adaptation showed Cobra Commander donning the toy's helmet, but in pure opaque blue (making it reminiscent of Cobra Commander's "powered body armor" from the final days of the Marvel comic)... would it happen to be the case in the film as well?

Originally Posted by ender098 **************WARNING********* *****************Spoiler Alert************************* THE FOLLOWING IS A SPOILER FOR GI JOE:THE RISE OF COBRA!!! IF YOU WANT TO BE SURPRISED, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!! SPOILER CLIFF NOTES AT THE BOTTOM!!! The movie starts with James McCullen’s ancestor being imprisoned in a HOT Iron mask for dealing weapons to the French AND English. Cut to Present (well, the “NEAR FUTURE”) James McCullen is showing a Demo tape of MARS new Nano warheads. General Hawk and Covergirl are in the back of the room. NATO sends Duke and Ripcord and their team to pick up the Warheads from Destro’s Kirgizstan factory and deliver them (Although it never does say where they are delivering them to!). On the way they are ambushed by Baroness and Neo Vipers in a flying gunship. Everyone but Duke and Ripcord are killed, and just in the nick of time, a silver ship (like a jet powered Osprey) swoops in and drops Snake eyes who starts killing Neo Vipers like it’s Cool! Then Scarlett deploys and Heavy Duty lays down cover fire from the side of the ship (as seen in the trailers!) Duke an the Baroness recognize each other, and to make a long story short, GI Joe wins, Baroness gets away. Duke talks to a hologram of General Hawk while Breaker deactivates the tracking devices in the Warhead case. Hawk and Duke argue over the warheads.(Because Duke still doesn’t quite know who these guys are) Hawk says “Fine come with my guys and we’ll deliver the warheads together”. They fly to the PIT in Egypt (?!) . Destro is online with Hawk via hologram (they still don’t know he’s the bad guy) and wants to inspect the warheads. He gives Breaker the code to Open the case (Also restarting the tracking device!). they check the Warheads…all is well. Hawk tells Duke about GI Joe. International team….elite of the Elite…blah…blah…. Of course Duke and Ripcord want in… Duke tells Hawk he knows he is going after the Baroness and he wants in…because he knows her! Cut to years before…baroness was named hanna and was a Blond engaged to Duke. Her Brother and Duke went on a mission..her brother died, Duke couldn’t face her, so he split! (Another good Movie ruined by romance!) Back at his base, destro is ticked at Baroness and tells her and Stormshadow they have another chance. This weird Dr. Rex shows off the new Neo Vipers. Injected with nanites, they feel no pain, experience no fear and are hard to kill. (one takes a bite from a cobra and the nanites push the venom out of the wounds). Destro sends them to Baroness and StormShadow! There are 19 of them….#20 is in place in Washington (see later!) Hawk and team start training Duke and RipCord. They score high (blah..blah!) Oh, did I mention that Duke is a Captain (who wears Major insignia in the flashback with Baroness!?!) and RipCord is an enlisted man who can fly any type of aircraft? Duke spars with snake eyes, and Brandon Frasier referees! :O Cobra tunnels into the PIT with Bora machines. Zartan stabs CoverGirl and StormShadow almost kills Hawk. They and Baroness use his hand and eye to open his safe and grab the warheads. (Stupidly, they don’t KILL Hawk, and he hits an Alarm). All hell breaks loose. StormShadow goes on a killing spree…..as does Baroness and the Neo vipers. Heavy Duty blows up their Bora machines so they are cut off. Big battle. Snake eyes and storm shadow have a brief flashback before they engage. Stormshadow manages to grab a glider and get away with Baroness and the Case of 4 warheads. Zartan escapes by acting like a Bedouin camel herder (you have to see it!). Hawk is in the infirmary, Covergirl is DEAD! :O They find out Baroness is married to a French Baron (DeCobray) who works on a Particle accelerator (and who can program the nanites) They race to Paris. StormShadow and Baroness have her hubby program the nanites, then Stormy kills him. They exit as the Joes are showing up. Duke and Ripcord have the Delta 6 accelerator suits on. Snake eyes jumps on top of the APV the baroness and Stormy are in….Duke and Ripcord persue. Scarlett grabs a motorcycle and Heavy Duty and Breaker follow in a Van. Paris gets torn to hell (you see most of it in the trailers). Baroness and Stormy get to a place where they can attack the Eiffel tower and fire the warhead. Baroness has the killswitch for the nanites (they keep eating until they are turned off!) Duke jumps into a Gunship and manages to hit the switch on Baroness’s side killing the nanites before they destroy Paris. Heavy Duty, Breaker, Scarlett and Ripcord go to the dead Neo Viper and try to extract info from his brain, but Dr. Rex activates the Nanite and he turns to dust. The Joes are arrested by the French. Hawk shows up and tells them they are disbanded and all troops are going back to their respective countries! On the way to the airport, Breaker looks at images from the Dead Neo Vipers thoughts, and determines Destro is in the North Pole. Hawk says “You were ordered back to the PIT…I didn’t say when you had to be there or what route you had to take”. Smiles…you KNOW they are going after Duke and the warhead! Dr. Rex injects Zartan with nanites so he can change his eye and skin color and reshape his face. (we find out why later! Oh, and he is always whistling or humming “the Bear went over the mountain”…weird, huh?) Destro we find out has ICBM’s that he is going to arm with Nanites and launch at Major cities. Duke is brought to the North Pole. He grabs the warhead case and tries to get away. Stormy brings him down easily and asks how he intended to get away across the ice. Cut to the GI Joe Submarine. Breaker says the signal on the case has just been activated (good one Duke…and you thought he was trying to get away!!) Under the Polar Ice Cap is that Huge underwater base seen in the trailer. Duke is taken to Dr. Rex to be injected with Nanites. Now comes the revolution! Dr. Rex is Baroness’s brother! He was a scientist sent to Africa with Duke. Duke sent him in a building to look at something and told him he had 5 min, an Airstrike would hit then. The Planes were early and blow the building up. (we saw this earlier when Duke flashed back in his recalling Baroness and his relationship) but now we see it from Rex’s POV. He found info about MARS Nanotech experiments. The building was a BUNKER! And the scientist in it was Dr Mindbender! Played by none other than Kevin J. O’Conner! The bunker saved him, but scarred him and he made the nanites! He used them on Baroness to make her evil and never told her he was her brother! The Joes attack. Destro Launches they warheads. Snake eyes uses missiles on one of the rockslides to blow one missile out before it gets very high. Ripcord jumps in a Night Raven and goes after the other two. Baroness overcomes the Nanites and saves Duke before he is injected with nanites, but she is knocked unconscious! Rex, Duke and Destro have a show down while the base is being attacked! Destro doesn’t want Rex to kill Baroness, which he is threatening to do if Duke doesn’t give up. In the scuffle, Destro’s face is burned and he and Rex escape into a waiting Sub. Baroness and Duke escape and persue. Scarlett and Breaker get to the command center and track the missiles, guiding RipCord to them. The first is heading to Moscow. Heavy Duty and about 50 “Shark” subs attack the base…..they are met by 50 Sting raider subs….GREAT BATTLE! A huge cannon almost destroys the big “carrier” sub of GI Joe and Snake eyes leaves Scarlett and Breaker in the control room to guide Ripcord as he goes to destroy the cannons power source (think Ben Kenobi in Star Wars!). He kills the operators and he and Stormy begin to scrap. Heavy Duty torpedos the cannon as Snake eyes runs Stormy through! Stormy falls into the frozen water at the bottom of the cannon’s reactor tube! Meanwhile, the Pres of the US is taken to his bunker (made by MARS! Once there, one of the secret service is revealed to be NeoViper #20! He kills everone except the president. Someone steps out from behind a secret compartment and the president gasps. A voice says “Hello Mr. President”. Ripcord kills the Missile headed for Moscow and goes after the one aimed at Washington. He catches up with it and tries to kill it. At the last second, he blows it, but a cloud of nanites covers his night raven and he takes it into the stratosphere to kill them. He parachutes just in time! Rex orders the base destroyed, and charges in the ICE pack above detonate. Everyone scrambles to escape! Rex injects Destro with nanites. They eat at his burned face and then form a metal covering. (now he looks like the Destro WE know!) Duke Captures their sub with the help of Heavy Duty, the Sharks and the BIG sub! The bad guys are in a prison, Baroness is in prison, too. The Doctors say it will be hard for them to remove the nanites. Duke tells her he won’t give up on her (mushy crap ending to that line). The Joes welcome Duke and Ripcord. Scarlett who has been avoiding Ripcord’s advances says something interesting (I forget what) and end….. So we think…. A crowd of people pat the President on the back and cheer him as he claims victory. Once he is alone in his office, he kicks his feet up and starts humming “The bear went over the mountain”. Fini! Killer spoilers; 1. They killed covergirl! WTF? 2. Baroness and CC are Brother and sister? 3. Rex is CC, the Baroness’s brother? 4. Duke was engaged to Baroness? 5. will Ripcord ever shut up? 6. The scientist in the bunker with CC/Rex is mindbender? We gonna see him? 7. What about that 3 pack of Mars Troopers? Where were they in the movie? 8. Where were the Ice Vipers? 9. Where did Helix come from? She wasn’t in the movie!

Originally Posted by bravo Helix is from the comics only, thats the only way to know who she is.

Originally Posted by Death_at_Midnight With billions of ppl in the world, only in a movie is everyone related to someone in some way.

Originally Posted by Death_at_Midnight With billions of ppl in the world, only in a movie is everyone related to someone in some way.

Originally Posted by Jay It's still better than The World Revolving Around Snake-Eyes from the old Marvel comic.

Originally Posted by ender098 Hawk tells Duke about GI Joe. International team….elite of the Elite…blah…blah…. Of course Duke and Ripcord want in… Duke tells Hawk he knows he is going after the Baroness and he wants in…because he knows her! Cut to years before…baroness was named hanna and was a Blond engaged to Duke. Her Brother and Duke went on a mission..her brother died, Duke couldn’t face her, so he split! (Another good Movie ruined by romance!)

Originally Posted by ender098 (when they make sequels!)

Originally Posted by Urban Saboteur :o :D :p :) lmao.. this is hilarious.. must of been written for the jerry springer show..

Originally Posted by Flatline One can only hope.

Originally Posted by General Jones Read an article that said that the whole cast and director was committed to a second Joe movie

Originally Posted by Death_at_Midnight I really don't like all the interplay of the characters in terms of brother/sister/friend. Everyone is related to someone in some way it seems. Like it's all some disfunctional family.

Originally Posted by Sonneilon He was slated for Gung Ho

Originally Posted by Jay No he wasn't. He was RUMORED, but he himself debunked that rumor very quickly.

Originally Posted by Sonneilon Then why ask since he's not even in the movie?:

Originally Posted by Rambo Brendan played Lt. Stone.

Originally Posted by pbarny1701 I've been watching the feedback come in on rottentomatoes.com and imdb.com all day; negative trendlines aren't good. Confirmed what I thought by brining this group together (not good/positive). http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1046173/ratings http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/ I'll wait for Netflix, Instant Watch, and only than if I have nothing better to do for 2 hours.

Originally Posted by silentdusty Honestly dude, if I based my movie watching on Rotten Tomatoes and the pompous arses at IMDB I would've missed alot of movies I enjoyed. If you like GI Joe at all, you will like this movie. It is a good, fun movie.

Originally Posted by pbarny1701 I don't have to like something just because they slap GI Joe on the banner. Excuse me if I ask for quality or at least people capable of it.