The Cartoons; Were they that silly?
 

As some of you might know, I've been collecting the DVD sets. Mainly for the accessories (the MASS Device). Well, my wife sent me the DVD's to watch while I'm stuck here. I watched the MASS device and noted how corny and cheesy it was. (I remember as a kid watching the Cartoons and thinking how unrealistic they were.) Then I sat back and watched the Revenge of Cobra and Arise Serpentor, Arise. The more I watched, the less I enjoyed and thought, "My God, Hasbro signed off on this crap? " I finally got to "Pyramid of Darkness" and I had to quit. I couldn't finish watching them. It was too painful.

I can suspend my disbelief only so much! Water Robots made of water? A "entry of death" with spiked walls, buzz saws in the floor and a crazed robot that when a parakeet says "Hail Cobra Commander, the great snake rules forever" goes away and lets you through like nothing happened? What about everybody around the area? This stuff is normal for Cobra? No wonder they can't win a battle! Pink Florescent mud that is translucent and bubbles but isn't hot? A Javelin that creates bubbles? Fatal Fluffies?

Jumped the Shark? this whole thing jumped the Ocean....kinda like that Michael Jordan commercial... "Off Jupiter, around the rings of Saturn, off the moon.....nothin but net!" C'mon! I know it was written for kids, but are kids that gullible? I mean I watched it as a kid and thought it was hokey, I just watched to see how the animated Characters stacked up to their comic book persona's. Am I alone in this? I mean, there is a pleasure derived from watching the cartoons, if only to see our favorite characters in action, but God, these Cartoons are SOOOOO bad! Is it me?

And all of this BEFORE I start hitting all of their SNAFU's using my military logic (Like everyone in GI Joe can fly a SkyStriker? Or a Slugger can shoot down aircraft?) Please someone tell me I'm not just a cynical old man with no sense of nostalgia? Tell me that in the Grand scale of things, the plot devices in the cartoon were so stupid they didn't even catch the attention of 8 year olds!

Anybody...anyone......???

Ya know, being a Star Wars fan I hear the argument that "that is not realistic" or "that could never happen". No kidding, its a movie! If I want to see realistic, I will cut a whole in my wall and watch my neighbors. Its entertainment, don't over analyze it. If you want real, watch the History or Military channel. I never saw the cartoon in the 80s. I recently purchased the entire run on very high quality bootleg DVDs at a Toy Show. I have been watching it as I can, I find it very entertaining, thats the key word - it entertainment. I also get ideas for photos too. If you open your mind and not expect too much I think your Joe cartoon viewing will be much more enjoyable. I am 40 and I am entertained, would I rather watch Lost or 24, of course!

Couldn't get into the cartoon even when I was a kid so I've only seen a few episodes. One thing that annoyed me was that it ignored the file cards, things like rank (Duke is not in command), specialties (infantry grunts don't fly fighter jets) and the weapons the toys came with (everyone had laser guns). I found it very inaccurate to the established Joe mythos.

I enjoy Sunbow, but sometimes I gotta be in the mood for it.

They did get a bit grandiose at times. The water robots are over-the-top (and so effective, but never used again?!). PYRAMID OF DARKNESS has a lot of goofy stuff. A net holding down a space shuttle that's launching? Sky Striker wing slicing through a HISS tank. The slugger as anti-air weapon. The Cobra CLAW, on the ground, being able to shoot down a Sky Striker (A $3 toy being able to destroy a $20 one...or however much they were in 1985).

While some episodes were better written than others, you gotta check your brain at the door. It's mostly all tongue-in-cheek. Like how every Cobra could become a master of disguise and would have their mask or glasses on under a rubber mask. How could Bludd even pose as Dr. Van Der Meer when Bludd only has one good eye?

If you think those are bad...stay far away from Dic's efforts.

GI JOE Extreme is pretty goofy, too. Mayday impresses everyone by driving a limo off a cliff and rolling it in midair then safely landing. Freight jumps out of a plane and shoot his way down, the force of his laser guns shooting at the ground slowing his fall. Uhhhh....sure.

the comics didnt go by the file cards either. to everyone duke is the leader, thats why i did my story to change that. they wanted to use bullets, but in those days cartoons were not allowed to. thats why they had to use lasers. heck, they couldnt have killed anyone even if they wanted to in those days.

You know BBI is just a few spaces over from the joes.

Note I mean that in a fun way.

But I don't want realistic first and formost. If we had this line all realistic, ok Scarlett, gone, Lady Jaye, Gone, Jinx, Gone, Cover Girl, Gone, women can't be used in combat. Snake Eyes GONE, He was handicaped in the line of duty, he couldn't stay on in the military.

Bazooka, Gone, Red isn't a regulation color.

Quick Kick GONE, No shirt no shoes no Service.

Duke Can't be leader just being a first St. (Speaking of why hasn't he received a promotion by now).

Clutch GONE, Rarely shaves.

I could probably go on, but what I am saying is there wouldn't be a GI Joe if it were realistic.

Alaska actually has 33904 miles of shoreline with tons of beaches, you can even rent cabins on the beach. So I want my realistic cartoon. Just kidding.

so, so true. glad someone beside myself finally noticed that. now lets see how hard it is to get rid of some fake bad guys.

everyone loves destro, forget that $h__, hes sure as heck gone.

the widely loved zartan, a guy who has face paint, mimics everything, forget that.

forget serpentor

the baroness, she could be real, but you would never see her because she wouldnt see battle.

raptor, croc master big boa, anyone with a mask. i mean, why would they want to hide their face? it doesnt matter if the joes know who they are, they can walk up to a giant hidden base that no one saw being built and arrest them and the rest of the world doesnt know they exist.

about every troop would be gone. red, blue, whatever for camo. and how the hell do they always replace these guys, they would have to get every criminal in every prison to build a army like this.

storm shadow, dont make me laugh. ninjitsu isnt even in anymore, much less a ninja who can do the things he does while wearing white.

metal head, people dont walk around with rockets strapped to them.

now i know some are going to say, well a crazed guy might walk around with rockets and a odd guy might wear a metal mask. please, if were going to stretch it for these, we might as well stretch it for lasers as there are lasers in the world.

The cartoon was ridiculous, from the dumb plots to the cliched characters (especially the bad guys). I could never get into it, and it has absolutely no influence on my Joeverse whatsoever.